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I cannot sleep. I keep trying to do something that will make me. It's 2am. Today has been a busy day. I think that I am coming home tomorrow. There are hurricanes coming and I don't want to drive through them and I also cannot really afford to stay here until next week. Today has been a busy day. I think that there is something that just started as a pinching in me that has turned slowly
into a gnawing. The gnawing has turned into a biting, and now I feel sick. I feel like I am
questioning my existence as a functional human being in society. What am I doing. Why am I doing this
to myself.
Why must I destroy everything in my path. Where are my actions going to put me. Fuck. Just nauseum at this point. Why do I run myself through this kind of drama.
Things just don't make sense to me at this point. I am so tired and sunburnt I am almost delirious. my vision like a mesh of colors that makes no real recognizable shapes and objects. I some relief, but more
than that I have a horrible sense of doubt and uneasiness regarding my future.
I need to stop doing things on a whim. Just not thinking things through. Fucking everything up for myself.
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